The Mighty Viking

Conquering those things we must, one story at a time

Small-town skirmish

Yesterday, I stopped in a very small town in NE Oregon for breakfast. When I came out, just before firing up the bike I heard some shouting around the corner.

At first I thought someone was calling, but then I heard the second voice, clearly crazy and angry, and realized an altercation was developing just out of sight. Since I already had my helmet on my head, I thought maybe I’d best bring the bike to the scene just in case. I started the bike, and pulled that direction. Rounding the corner, I saw a group of children and two adults on one side of the street and a huge guy shouting and gesticulating aggressively from the other.

Several things happened all at once. I parked my bike in the middle of the street between the man and the crowd. It got worse when I realized that the crazy guy was holding a sword. My first thought was, “oh great, crazed lunatic bent on mayhem” and I started to dismount, preparing to engage with a nasty situation.

But before I could dismount, it dawned on me that the guy was also holding a shield, and the adults on the other side were dressed in robes.

Yep. Vacation Bible school, re-enacting the story of David and Goliath to the kiddies.

Well, I had already injected myself into the situation, so I had to say something.

So I called out loudly, “Angel of the Lord Messenger service! Is there a “David, son of Jesse” here?”

“David? Son of Jesse? Anyone?” Looking at the kids parked under the shade of a tree, ” is your name David?”

Three of the kids pointed at one of the robed figures.

“Ah, David, good. Message from The Lord: “use the Sling!”

My “Angel of the Lord Messenger Voice” isn‘t too bad, if I do say so myself.

And so I fired the bike back up and boogied on outta there, beet-red. But they‘ll never know that.


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3 Responses to “Small-town skirmish”

  1. Brig says:

    What an awesome tale, I bet you made it all come to life for those kids. Berserkers forever!

  2. Bodie P says:

    OK–that’s officially hilarious. I gotta wonder what those kids pulled out of their VBS class that day!

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